Candice - mB (maliciousbeauty) wrote in dear_celeb,
Candice - mB

Dear Olsen Girl :

Dear Mary Kate,

When I was a younger girl, probably about eight or nine - I enjoyed my nighttime viewings of Full House. It gave me a view into what it would be like to live with three seemingly heterosexual men, have a dead mother and an everlasting dog named Comet. I live through these re-runs now and even as a twenty-three year old woman - I can still appreciate them.

Remember those cute things you and your sister used to say? I can name some, if you forgot : "No way, Jose!", "See You Later, DUDE!", "I WUV YOU UNCOO JOEY!!" and many other classics.

What happened, Mary Kate? Was it the whirlwind success? The plummet? Were you scared you'd end up like John Stamos? Worse yet, Candace Cameron? I hear you, I hear you loud and clear. Did you see that chick's brother? He's a goddamned fruitcake.

But seriously, think of the heavy contrast from the days as Michelle Tanner and think about yourself now. No longer do you say the cute little catchphrases that even the doll named after your sitcom character said - but instead you've replaced them with hits such as : "Where is my strap, Ashley?", "Is this needle clean?", "I swear to God that chair just walked into the bathroom." and the classic "How did I get here and where are my panties?".

Take a glance over these, sweetie. Think of which sounded better for a girl your age with your kind of money. Buy a rehab center, invest in horses and spend your time gardening. You're too young to hitting bottom. Best to get back up again.

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